How to Respond to the Hurt of Betrayal

Sometimes in life a close friend or relative will betray us. It is most unfortunate and it hurts deeply. Most of the time, we find ourselves unable to forgive or forget.

Case in point – did you know Benedict Arnold early in his military career was a war hero? Yes, early on in the American Revolution he joined the Continental Army and assisted in the capture of Fort Ticonderoga away from the British.

However, today he is only remembered because he entered into secret dealings with the British to turn over the U.S. post at West Point for money and a command in the British army. To this day, his name is one and the same with “traitor”. None of his previous accomplishments mean anything because of the deep wound he gave to our new nation…the one he was supposed to defend.

Of course, I am not suggesting you have experienced anything quite as public or damaging as Arnold’s treachery, but nevertheless, betrayal, abuse, gossip can hurt and cause us a lifetime of unforgiveness and bitterness.

What does the Bible say about Betrayal?

How do we forgive when we have been hurt so deeply?

Forgiveness is not a natural instinct.

We must realize that forgiveness is not a natural instinct. It just doesn’t come automatically to us. That means we have to put effort into it.

We must turn to prayer.

As in all things, praying is the first thing we must do. We can not accomplish this on our own. But here is the great thing about bringing such things to God. As we tell Him about our hurt, as we ask Him to help us to forgive, we begin to see things in a different light. His light. Slowly we see things through His eyes and not our own. We begin to understand what grace means and if He applied it to us, then how much more we should apply it to others. Remember…it was God who forgave us first.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Holding on to bitterness and resentment can only bring us harm in the long run. Mainly a brokenness in our relationship and fellowship with God.

God gives us the perfect example of forgiveness in His Son, Jesus Christ. Do you remember what He said on the cross?

“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

The very fact that Jesus gave His life for us in the forgiveness of our sins should keep our hurts in perspective. His was able to forgive, even as they pounded the nails into His hands and feet.

“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13

Pray for your enemies.

The Bible calls us to bless our enemies. Do you pray for those who have persecuted you? I don’t mean pray that they may feel bad for what they’ve done! I mean, pray for God to bless them. Pray for their family and for them to prosper in God’s will. You are so right; this is very hard. But we are commanded to do so. Romans 12:14 tells us to bless those who persecute us.

Do not entertain thoughts of revenge.

One last thing, do not entertain thoughts of retaliation or revenge. This steals our joy and hinders our healing. We serve a just and fair God. When we take matters into our own hands, what we are really doing is assuming God’s power to judge. He is good and sovereign. He alone is the judge, so, let’s leave that job to Him!

When we let go of the hurt and bitterness, through His power, we begin to see more of the goodness of God! Praying for you, sweet friends!